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SIDE BAR
1
Start writing, and write often. The goal for this exercise is to land a sweet gig writing a personal column for a local newspaper, thus cementing yourself as a low-grade celebrity who can get into hot restaurants and nightclubs without breaking a sweat.
Step 2
Go out and look for top-quality friends. They should not only be loyal and supporting, but should also be in professions that will play to your advantage, such as lawyers, public relations executives, etc.
Step 3
Make some mysterious pact with all of your credit card companies to obtain endless spending limits. This will be essential for your habits of buying ridiculously expensive clothing and never, ever eating a meal at home. The salary of the average journalist will not be sufficient for these practices.
Step 4
Develop a strong kinship with cocktails, namely Cosmopolitans and martinis. Try to up your intake to at least two each day.
Step 5
Start smoking. Then quit for a while. Then start up again. Then quit for an even longer span of time. Then start up again.
Step 6
Cease and desist from wearing clothes and shoes that do not have famous names attached to them. Familiarize yourself with names like Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo, Christian Louboutin and Prada, to name a few.
Step 7
Write a book, if you actually DO figure out how to make her lifestyle work on a modest salary.
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